Saturday, September 18, 2010

Photo Picking Time.

Becks was a little over one the last time I took the boys anywhere for photos.  I dreaded those trips.   The only bearable part was the end because it was next to a bar.  I could sit & drink away the pain while the photos printed.  I start the trip off with clean clothes: new clothes that were purchased just for the session.  Of course, I'd never try the stuff on prior to jumping in the car.  The night before I'd panic about the size & fit of the clothes.  After it was buttoned up & looked respectable, I panicked about it staying clean.  When everything stayed clean, I panicked about the wait.  A place that centers on children should never have a wait.  Ever.  It isn't acceptable to make a toddler or a "big kid" wait thirty minutes.  And then after I begged the photographer to not put up any silly backgrounds (I don't care that it's close to Easter.  I don't want a field of daffodils by my boys.) & begged them not to sit the kids on anything fluffy & white (I don't care that it's close to Easter.  I don't want my boys to sit on a Bunny's ass.), I start begging my kid to smile.
Please look happy.  
Please smile.  Cheese! 
One more, please!  
Smile & I'll get you a toy. 
Towards the end, we always got something usable.

But it was a pox on my house every time I saw that date on my calendar.  While I was picking out Becks' last photos, he had to be nursed.  Had to be!  And because the Photo-Guy made me wait thirty minutes, I took delight in making him uncomfortable.  A sweet nursing newborn is one thing.  A large 13-month-old that doesn't like to be covered up nursing is another thing.  So I whipped one out & nursed him while we flipped through bad photo after bad photo.  Becks then gave me a sign that we would never be back.  This sign pretty much sealed the deal on the photo place's fate.  Becks bite me so hard that I got dizzy.  Ever been chomped on while nursing & for a spilt second you think about slapping someone?  He gave me that kind of bite & we haven't been back.  I do have some guilt about not going somewhere or to someone for photos.  There is something iconic about a photo of your kid in front of a fake daffodils field or sprawled out on something white & fluffy.  This bite happened prior to my obsession with photography.  It happened right at the beginning of the tumble.  I can honestly say that even my shittiest photos turn out better than what this place did with my boys.  My boys don't like to sit & smile.  I created those monsters & that's fine with me.  I shouldn't hold this place responsible for my creation.  They do a good job just not with my kids or my sanity.  And I figure that I take enough photos for us to remember our lives.  I figure this until the moment a good photo is necessary.  And then the guilt rears again.

The last time we were home, I noticed that most of the boys' photos were from a couple years ago during "The Studio Phase."  I knew it was time to update.   I asked my MIL "Do you remember any of the boys' photos that you'd like printed?"  And she replied, "You pick."  Ok, that can't be hard.  I was dead wrong.  I got to our computer & hit a wall.  And that wall was made by my own two hands & two eyeballs.  I like my style of photography, but not everyone appreciates it.  Or is it good for framing photos for family members.

Coop wanted him to follow & he was going to follow like a robot.
 You want a photo of the back of a head?  I got a thousand.  You want a photo of their feet right before they jump off the couch.  Got one too.  You want a photo of someone pitching a tantrum?  Oh yeah, let me pull it.  But one of them straight on?  Sorry.  One of them together & straight on?  You're insane.  I beg you to find one.  I think this is the main reason I'd struggle if I wanted to move into the photography business.  The client would look through the photos & ask, "Great.  But do you have any of their smile?  How about a face shot?"  And I'd have to convince them that their chubby little fingers are so much sweeter.  I'm not that great of a sales men.  With the holidays breathing down our necks, I need to focus on some traditional shots.  We need something for the Christmas card.  Just one.  That's all it takes.



  1. oh, the acorns with red tennies! <3
    following like a robot...perfect!

    I also have a thousand of the backs of heads. There's something so special about that kind of shot to me. Maybe because it's a great moment to follow my kids leads, see what magical place they take me to! You're my kind of photographer! :)

    This post made me laugh. so. hard.!!!!

  2. well this makes me laugh. sorry but the hundreds of backs of heads but your boys do have cute curly locks don't they? :)

  3. I love this post, and I think these pictures are waaaaay more wonderful than stiff studio shots. The last one is my very favorite--I'd have that hanging in every room!!

  4. oh, i love this post. my family are always asking for a nice photo of the kids together - um. seriously? together? like, both looking at the same time? ha. i too take photos of back of curly headed kids, feet about to jump off something, the details. the little things. i really want a whole collage of photos on my wall of just the details. its just that our families dont. boo. :-p