Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Just Call Me Morley Safer

Last Friday, I raved about my new No Sweat cup.  I'm that type of girl that falls in love with the words "No Sweat."  It's so true & if you've ever spent time with me outside, you'd know why.  Once late Spring hits, I start to sweat more than Whitney Houston singing "It's Not Right But It's Okay."  That's pre-rehab days, but I bet she still sweats.  Since grade school, my teachers worried about me.  "Take a break, Erika.  You're red as a tomato."  I wasn't exerting myself (I never exert myself), I just get red & sweaty.  Unfortunately, the boys have inherited this icky trait.  When Cooper was about two, I walked into one of their play-areas & saw him sitting by his teacher.  "What did he do?" I asked.  "Oh nothing.  He just looked like he was going to pass out.  Becks is no better.  I breed sweaty messes.  So when I see "No Sweat" sticker I buy. 

Last week, I got an email from the super nice Cinco_Mom saying that she too got a "No Sweat" mug!  She's in the south, so I'd assume she's used to sweating.  But like all good women is probably sick of sweating.  And guess what the rest of her email said?  "It sweats."  No!  How could Starbuck's lie to me with a sticker!?  I decided to go Morley Safer on the "No Sweat" cup's ass.

To make my investigative piece really work, I kept to my routine.  I poured a big cup of tea, filled it with ice, & hit the hammock.  But I tried really hard to not drink it.  How the hell is it suppose to sweat if it's empty?

12:42: I rocked a bit.
12:50: Looked over at a space where a bush lived only 24 hours prior to my piece.
12:51: Got pissed off cause I wasn't asked if it should be removed.  Went inside.
12:52: Sat down to work.
1:39: Realized I was on a hardcore news piece & went outside to look for Sweat.
1:40: Saw it creeping up close to my sweet little mermaid!
 Damn you Sweat!  You've won again!

If you put a sticker on your product, that should mean something!  Look at Target box wine.  It has a gold sticker saying something about being the Best.  Well, it is better than Franzia. Pabst has a gold sticker too saying that it won some sort of Beer award in 2008.  And Mr. Pabst, I agree that you're tasty.  Fine.  I'll get over the sticker shock.  It wasn't so sweaty that my hands were dripping wet.  I didn't get any all over my shorts or even had to dry my hands on them.  My ice tea was still freezing after sitting outdoors in less than ideal shade.  And because the cup comes with a lid that I always use (kids & dogs knock things around), all the tea stayed put when the gnome kicked it over.  I'd say it's still one of my favorites.

Move over Jon Stossel & Cynthia McFadden.  I'm working.


  1. We don't have a starbucks in the town i live in, so excuse me while i stare at your photos, wishing it was in my hand and thinking about how it wouldn't get time to sweat if it was here, with me. (minus the fact that its winter here, and nothing sweats, just freezes over.)

  2. maybe in Seattle things sweat at a different rate? or they just don't worry about condinsation since it is damp all the time there.

    who knows.

  3. Mine sweats in Indiana. I would say comparable to yours, according to your excellent testing. I do love the glass, it is so much fun. However shame on Starbucks because it does not live up to it's sticker = bad = sticker shame.

  4. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! i am seriously laughing out loud over here. Not because of the sweat. I am so sorry to have been the one to break the news to you, but girl, your investigative reporting rocks. we too are a sweaty family and i agree, although the cup sweats, it doesn't sweat as much as we do. so therefore....i'm keepin' it.

  5. you are hilarious. i don't have a starbucks cup but our cabinet is filled with these. some of them do sweat, but the nice thing is that you can replace them if they sweat "too" much. they aren't joking about the lifetime warranty. their store is down the road from my in laws and they have a bin you just chuck your defective cup in and you go pick out a new one.

    i'd consider television if you were a tv reporter. that would be worth watching.

  6. I have one of those cups and I love it! I bought the biggest one thinking that I would be really good about drinking water but who am I kidding, I just drink more iced coffee! Mine doesn't sweat but maybe I just drink too fast...