February is a tough month. It's when most people give up on Winter & fall into the blues. I'm not quite at that point yet. I don't love winter. I never have & I never will. But I'm not clouded with the winter blues yet. I'll give it another two weeks. But I have given up on something. I'm tossing in the towel on Joy of Love. It's a fantastic project, but the less pressure I have the better I can to survive this winter. But I love Love like everyone else in the world. I decided that I'll continue to photograph one thing I love each day & try to explain why.
It isn't always easy, but Mark has always been supportive. It isn't like I would have quit my job after kids because I have to travel. I was never worried about leaving him with the kids. Other colleagues used to ask me who was watching the baby. And then they'd ask if my mother or MIL was with him. No. He's the father. It's what he's supposed to do. Breast-feeding isn't ideal for a mother on the road, but it's what had to be done. I've spilled more breast-milk in more hotels all over Ohio, Indiana, and Michigan. More cleaning crews have discovered forgotten bags of breast-milk in the fridge or in sinks filled with ice. There was always more, so I stopped worrying about losing them. I've soothed a few tears over the phone. I've cried in hotel rooms because I heard a baby giggle. I've teared up because I've watched other children with their parents. I've been startled awake a few times because of fire alarms and mingled with other tired strangers as we waited to return to sleep. I've wondered if the stranger in the hallway was going to force himself into my room. I've checked mirrors and imagined that covert cameras were installed. I've been almost certain that I'd appear on some pervy site called "Naked Hotel Travellers.com" It wouldn't be hot and the viewers would be disappointed, so I'm not really worried about it. I've checked windows six times to make sure it was properly locked. I've broken remotes because I tried to use it as a bottle opener.
But I love hotel rooms. And during the long weeks, I've found reasons to really appreciate them. There's no use being more miserable away from home because that isn't difficult to do. Home is always better. But a comfy bed in a dark silent room is a close second.
8:28 Days of Love